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 blade................

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staticbeast96

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PostSubject: blade................   Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:47 pm

Name: blade afro

Age: 15

Gender: Male

Village: cloud

Ninja Rank: genin

Clan: n/a

Looks: grey tee,red jacket,black pants

Personality: laid back,quick to start
Special Characteristics: blades out of hands
Elements: lightning

Skills/Specialties: genjutsu and taijutsu

Jutsus:
- claw controll-claws come out of hands and are used to strike opponet

- storm raise- lifts arm and storm starts to form

- blade body- blades come from every part of body and are used in the fight

- quick stab-body fades and as opponet gets ready for him 2 reappear he strikes from underground

- knife controll-cage comes around opponet and 1000's of blades strike opponet from inside

- blade blaster-holds arms together and they form as one and kunias blast out of his hands


History/Background Story: little is known about blade execpt that he grew up alone.It has been said that when he was born his mother tried to kill him because he wasn't sopposed to be born.She was killed first by his father.He was later given up on and his father left him when he was only 2.Blade managed to survive alone in a cave outside the cloud village.Last year he was found on a mission and was takin as a prisoner of war.the raikage was going to kill him because he couldn't do anything.When he went to stab him he struck the raikage wit a knife.The guards grabbed him and locked him up.he was jus t let out by the raikage himself and now trains with him.He now lives in the cloud village as the genin of knifes,and awaits the exams were he will prove his strength. afro afro
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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:52 pm

sounds ok , story was a little funny sounding because if your on 2 and u can survive out in a cave....pretty good but idk ur going to have to wait a little for shinju or whoever else.
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staticbeast96

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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:55 pm

ok thx i'll make some changes or something
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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Mon Apr 14, 2008 7:01 pm

no problem...once u change it around i'm sure u'll be approved
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staticbeast96

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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Mon Apr 14, 2008 7:09 pm

k
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Shimokage

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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:17 am

-looks need more description

-if you use blades then weaponry should be one of your skills

-jutsu need way more description

-knife control seems sorta god moddy so change that too

-did the raikage approve what you have in your story? If not you need to ask his permission

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g-aara
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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:59 pm

yes i gave him permission.....but i most say he needs to change many tings around inclouding just about everything you said

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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:23 pm

If this is your first time RPing staticbeast? Because it seems like it. RPing is all about detail, a lot of it. Make sure you add as much detail possible without writting a novel.

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Modorokie Lee
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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Tue Apr 15, 2008 5:31 pm

yeah, u need to work on detail a little more

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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Wed Apr 16, 2008 5:27 pm

i mean about the story..., ...k...?

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Shinji
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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Thu Apr 17, 2008 2:44 pm

its good exept for knife control. That is too powerful for a genin. take that out and ur good
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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:56 pm

From what I'm seeing at the moment you still need to get rid of knife control, also, you need to add more detial to the story and your jutsu, still. And after you do that from what it looks like your good.

((Shinji...I can't beilive you would approve this. He needs to still add detail.))

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Modorokie Lee
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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:30 pm

yeah, fix knife control and the 2 year old thing. maybe 7 or 8 would b in order, idk, but i know dat u need to change that.

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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Fri Apr 18, 2008 5:15 pm

u really need to post and fix ur character

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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Fri Apr 18, 2008 5:41 pm

Hate to say but your not gonna be approved for awhile unless you change.

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Modorokie Lee
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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Fri Apr 18, 2008 5:52 pm

like i said earlier, u really need to get on and post

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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Fri Apr 18, 2008 6:23 pm

Yeah...when you get on if you want to RP you HAVE to edit your character. Well edit your character anyway.

(Wow...I thought being an admin was easy XD)

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Yukiko Ikirino
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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Sat Apr 19, 2008 2:08 am

Ohhh this is a cloud genin someone for me to examine...

Umm you need to fix yourself seriously
Looks: grey tee,red jacket,black pants
not detailed enough, what color hair/eye you only put your clothing and you didn't even describe your clothing you just put that, so you should add your body structure, height/etc and describe better.

Special Characteristics: blades out of hands
Explain what kind of blades, chakra blades? real swords?

Your character has too strong jutsu's for you to be a Genin weaken your jutsu's a little, also you should change your rank to academy and change your age a little

Im sorry, but I'm Raikage, so I expect good applications and Rping since I read your app and it needs some changes, you should be an academy student so then you can learn to rp and have a rping course dont worry the course is still rping and your rping your student life k?

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Shimokage

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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Sat Apr 19, 2008 2:31 am

Ok Yukiko, first of all he CAN be genin because there's nothing in the rules that says he can't or the he has to be academy student. And just about everyting you said other than that genin thing we ALL have agreed with XD

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Yukiko Ikirino
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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Sat Apr 19, 2008 2:37 am

Uzamaki Rinto wrote:
Ok Yukiko, first of all he CAN be genin because there's nothing in the rules that says he can't or the he has to be academy student. And just about everyting you said other than that genin thing we ALL have agreed with XD

Im not saying that he can be Genin
Im just saying that he should be I didn't say had to

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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Sat Apr 19, 2008 4:59 pm

ok, now that that's cleared up we just need to wait for you to edit staticbeast.

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Shimokage

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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Mon Apr 21, 2008 10:58 pm

Hmmm...u need to get on ASAP. If you go inactive we might have no other choice but to lock this topic and possibly delete you. (If you aren't on in a few more weeks) So...I suggest you get on and start editing. You have a lot of things to change so it would be appropriate if you you got on NOW. Thank you.

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Modorokie Lee
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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:37 pm

i lost, but yeah, has he edited yet? it's been so long

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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Wed Apr 23, 2008 10:20 pm

I know...waaaay to long...

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Yukiko Ikirino
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PostSubject: Re: blade................   Thu Apr 24, 2008 11:40 am

Ok you got more than a few weeks and maybe even months to edit this, you will get till Sunday to edit your character or he is going to be deleted...

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